Breath of Fresh Air

Another Semester Over

2011-12-11T15:07:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that I am two finals away from being done with another semester of college. I feel like it was only yesterday that my parents were moving me into the 8th floor with limited elevator use in Eau Claire. I have loved my college experience so far but sometimes I feel like I didn't live the "normal" college life. I spend my freshman year in Eau Claire, sophomore in Rhode Island, and then split my junior year between Eau Claire and Rhode Island! I am happy to say I will be spending my last two college years here in Rhode Island and be receiving my diploma from Rhode Island College. Having spend so much time at two different schools I always ponder if I made the best career move by attending RIC. I know there were definately other factors that pushed me to make the move but all in all I know I belong here.

I know, I know...many of you are thinking that I haven't written in a while. I am going to try this blog again! Hopefully I will stay motivated to keep writing to you:)

Any advice?

2011-05-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

So in life, everyone is always giving each other advice. Whether we ask for it or not... In my own life I have been given a lot of advice. Some I wished I had listened to. I have listened to some pieces of advice though, and I am sure thankful I did.

One of the best pieces of advices I was given was from my high school choir director. Although he gave me a lot of words of wisdom throughout high school and even once in a while now, I am thankful for his advice to keep a journal while I was in Rhode Island on exchange. At first I didn't really find the importance of the journal. I knew it would be a fun thing to go back and read later in life and remember the fun times I had, but the journal has done a lot more for me than I originally thought.

After my first semester on exchange I boarded a plane back to Wisconsin to spend a month with family and friends. As I sat on the plane, I took out my journal and began reading and reflecting on my first semester. I found myself laughing out loud and reminiscing about things that had happened only in the past few months. Now I have a journal with a thousand and one memories of that year and every once in a while I pull it out and read through it again.

My other favorite piece of advice actually comes from Jewel's song Hands. A line in the song is "in the end only kindness matters", and I really try to live by this. I know this world is filled with war, hatred, murders but I strive to be a compassionate person and just help out. If I can make someones life a little easier, even if only for a moment, I will do my best.

I'm not looking for any advice at the moment, but if you have some--feel free to share.

My family

2011-05-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

As my brother and his wife begin their journey with their newborn son, Finley, I will take a few minutes to reflect on my own family. I am so thankful for the family I have. They all have their specials quirks and moments, but I am a happier, stronger and more confidant person because of each and everyone of them. Going in no particular order I am going to thank each of you for being so inspiring to me.First off my dad! He is definitely one of my best friends. Ever since I was little I have always been the biggest Daddy's Girl. I remember getting joy out of riding with you to the recycling center on Saturday mornings. I always had to be with you; no matter what we were doing. One of my favorite memories I have with you is when we went to Sheyboygan see Katie and Mark. We had such a great weekend around the town and on the boardwalk. I love you Dad!
My mom has always been there for me. She spent countless hours volunteering and supporting me in all of organizations throughout high school. I remember calling my mom and asking her last minute to help me find an outfit for the school musical. I don't know how but she pulled through finding me the perfect outfit. Even in college, when I get sick my mom is the first person I want to call and ask what to do. I remember being young, but yet old enough to not sit on my mom's lap anymore, and getting sick. I would hardly fit on my mom's lap but I would still grab my baby blanket and ask her to rock me in the rocking chair. It was always so comforting. I love you Mom!
My brother Ryan is the hardest working person I know. Although, sometimes I think he works to hard! When I was in the third grade my brother was a senior in high school. I really looked up to my big brother. He came to my elementary classroom one afternoon and helped with a program. I got to introduce him to my classmates and then he continued to make everyone laugh. I was so proud in that moment to have him as my brother. I remember that fall Ryan was leaving to go to college. As he drove out of the driveway with my dad I remember feeling scared. I didn't know what this was going to mean with him living away from home. I started crying and really didn't want him to leave. Though their were times when Ryan was a typical mean big brother, I am so happy to have him as my brother and I know he will make a wonderful father. I love you Ryan.
My biggest sister Katie also inspires me, but in her own unique way. Out of all my siblings I would say I am most like Katie, but yet Kate and I are completely different. She likes the warm weather of Arizona and I am proud to live in the cold and rainy state of Rhode Island(okay, that's not true, but I do love lil' Rhodie). Katie and I share the same passion of working with kids. I hear stories from her all the time of things that happened in her classroom and how she addressed them. I have taken teaching ideas from her all the time and I love knowing I have her to go to when I need some advice. One of my favorite memories with Katie is our trip to the Grand Canyon and our road trip to Wisconsin. If you want the details scroll down in an earlier post and you will find them. I love you Katie.

Last but not least, is Renee. Being the closest in age with Renee, I spent the most time with her growing up. We "shared" everything. A bedroom, clothes, make-up, a car, friends... everything. Not that we liked sharing everything but we did! A favorite memory I have with my sister Renee is when I would go visit her at UWSP! We would have a lot of fun partying together. Dancing, enjoying our drinks and somehow laughing at things no one understood except us. I also loved the parties we threw when mom and dad weren't home. Usually it was all of your friends but I still had a blast! I love you Renee.

I love all of you so so much! Thanks for being the wonderful family you are! You all mean the world to me. I love seeing all of you happy and healthy. I love you :)

My Breath of Fresh Air

2011-05-14T14:17:00.001-07:00

The last few weeks have been busy with finishing school work and final exams. I turned in a huge teaching portfolio for two of my classes, that took a lot of my time. I have also officially started working at my other job. Last week I met with my client. He is absolutely the cutest kid I have ever seen, and I am fortunate enough to get to work with him. My first day by myself with him is next week Thursday!

Since school has been out a few days, I have given my chance to have a little breath of fresh air and relax. Friday I went to the Roger Williams Zoo in Providence. It was an absolutely gorgeous day and the animals were very active. I got to see an elephant stand on a ball and a black bear jump in and out of the water while playing with a ball, but my favorite part of the day was seeing the zebras! I have never seen a zebra before so that was very special for me!

I also bowled my highest game last night. I bowled a 128! :) It was very exciting for me too! Now that school is over and I have a handle on my new job I look forward to writing more blog entries, accomplishing things on my summer bucket-list, and being outside for many breathes of fresh air.

Summer 2011 Bucket List

2011-04-26T13:07:00.000-07:00

1. Go to the beach...a lot
2. Go to Six Flags New England... a lot
3. Volunteer
4. Read what I want to read, not what is assigned
5. Go to New York City
6. Sit around a campfire with friends
7. Buy a cheap bike and go biking on the paths in RI
8. Take a lot of pictures, and learn how to be better at taking pictures
9. Tour a winery or brewery...or both
10. Go to a flea market

Maybe it's the end of the semester, or the beautiful 75 degree weather after a long winter, but my mind is thinking about summer. Even in class, no especially in class, all I do lately is think about how excited I am to spend the summer in Rhode Island. I think have a beach only a few minutes away explains it all. Two weeks from today and I will be officially on vacation for three and a half months. Well at least a vacation from school and homework.

Well class is concluding and I have accomplished a few things while sitting here. I wrote a bucket list for the summer and wrote my newest blog. Don't worry, I am a wonderful multi-tasker, so I was also able to participate in discussion and take notes. Summer 2011, I will see you soon!

P.S. If you have any other suggestions for this bucket list let me know!

My passion

2011-04-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

So I came home from school today, sat down at my desk and began writing some essays for scholarships that my school offers for education students. The essays discussed things like my background and future plans for teaching as well as how I show dedication to teaching students who are underprivileged and have learning disabilities. So now I will continue this and tell all of you about why I chose teaching as my profession, my passion.

Throughout my educational career, since the day I stepped into my kindergarten classroom I have been influenced by both really good teachers and some not so good teachers. I have chosen education as my profession because I have a passion for learning and working with kids. I believe my personal qualities of being caring, patient and always willing to help, make me well suited to be an educator and work with young minds. Watching and facilitating in the personal and academic growth of the students is very rewarding in itself. My goals as a teacher are to help students find success, learn and grow academically and emotionally, as well as help students develop a level of confidence in which they believe they can reach any goal they set with hard work, determination and perseverance. I believe it is important to teach students about themselves and teach the child as a whole rather than focus on only the subject matter in which you are trained in. It is important to provide an environment where students feel safe and welcomed. I have put much thought into teaching at inner-city schools, where school may be one of the only places some students feel safe at. My education as well as the education of others is of deep importance to me and with this attitude I hope to reach out to as many students as I can throughout my lifetime and provide them with everything that I can to help them have the tools needed for success.

I hear stories from my sister Katie, and other friends of mine that are teachers and I get more and more excited each time. :) Only two more weeks left this semester and then only two years left of college and I will be applying to school districts(who knows where :) )

I See Stars Concert

2011-04-18T18:48:00.000-07:00

So, last week Tuesday Chris called me at work so excited because one of his all time favorite bands, I See Stars, was coming to Boston. I also saw this band last year and really enjoyed them, so I knew I could finagle something with work the next day and change my hours around so we could go to the concert.

So on Wednesday Chris, our friend Max, and I road-tripped up to the Boston in the pouring rain. Once we arrived, found parking, and ran a couple of blocks, again in the pouring rain, we arrived at the show. There were a few bands that played before I See Stars and we stood in the back of the crowd for these. As we stood there Chris explained his game plan to me.He wanted us to make our way up to the front for his band. The plan was that when the mosh pit opened up we would walk quickly through it and just like that be in the front. So the drums and guitar start and Chris grabs my hand and pulls starts walking forward, when suddenly out of nowhere I get slammed into, lose Chris's hand and end up on the floor. So not only am I on the floor but people are jumping around and banging into each other. Now I tried to get up once, but got knocked into again. I tried to get up twice, but again got knocked into. So I gave up, assumed the fetal position, and started saying a few prayers. Well, until my favorite Nike shoe got torn off my foot. Then I was mad. Nobody, I mean nobody gets in the way of me and my shoes.
Well before I could get too mad about my shoe I feel Chris grab onto me and scream "I got you, Erin." After several attempts of Chris trying to help me up, because of everyone smashing him into me, I got up and got out of the pit. I was shaking and crying, and felt like puking. But I calmed down, and then pointed out to Chris that I lost my shoe. I began crying again, realizing my shoe was out there on the floor somewhere. Alone. Cold. Feeling unloved. I bet it was thinking I didn't love it anymore. Well, we enjoyed the rest of the concert and found my shoe about an hour later.

Although, I left the concert with ringing ear, a good story and a hour drive home in front of me with practicum in the morning the best part is below.

Here is my ticket signed by Devin Oliver, the lead singer for I See Stars.

And here I am with his arms around me. I think he wanted to ask me for my phone number but he didn't want the girls around me to get jealous and catty.

P.S. I bowled a 121 last week :)

2011-04-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

According to the countdown on Ryan and Heidi's blog I have 39 days before I will become Auntie Erin. I can't wait to meet the little bundle of joy!

I know Ryan and Heidi will be wonderful loving parents and give this little boy everything he needs. He is so lucky to have you two as his parents(no matter how you met). The genuine qualities the both of you hold make it easy for anyone who has met you to know you make a great team together and will be the caring, nurturing mommy and daddy any little newborn deserves.

When Ryan and Heidi announced they were pregnant, I was so happy I couldn't believe it. I decided to post the following video below. Some of us have quite the facial expressions and reactions!

I love you Ryan and Heidi! I am so happy you found love in another and now get to share it with the family you are starting. I can already here him cheering for Bucky!

Malibu Molly

2011-04-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

So many people who are writing blogs have been using prompts following the 30 Day Blog Challenge. The point of the challenge is to write a post every day for thirty days and then decide if you want to continue blogging. I decided to take a blog prompt today and I decided to write about a wonderful friend I am blessed to have.

Last semester I moved into an apartment with three other girls. I knew two of the girls but only knew the name of the third girl. Molly. One of the first days in our apartment I was sitting at the table eating, when in walked Molly pretty upset. Not knowing her very well, I gave her a hug and asked her what was wrong. I thought I would probably get a response of "I'll be fine" but instead she explained to me how she missed her best friend she had met in Portland, Maine through the National Student Exchange program. I immediately connected with her and we shared stories back and forth about our time on exchange. I sometimes wonder if Molly didn't walk in that door crying if we would have connected like we have.

Molly and I both moved out of Wisconsin recently, myself to Rhode Island and her to Arizona. We are both extremely happy where we live now and love filling each other in on everything going on in our lives. I know Molly will always be a part of my life and someone I can go to when I am having a bad day.

Here are a few awesome things about Molly I want to share.
1. Molly will never turn down eating ice cream with me, even in the cold of winter.
2. Molly graduated college in 3.5 years!
3. If you ask Molly what she wants to do when talking about jobs and careers she always says "I just want to do good!" Molly- you are such an inspiration to me!

4. Molly eats peanut butter right out of the jar all the time. I would even hid my peanut butter so that she wouldn't eat mine too :)

Here is just a few of Molly's peanut butter jars

at the end of the semester.

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MOLLY!

Can I get over 100?

2011-04-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

So, I joined a bowling league. An official league where you switch lanes between each frame. Bowling, like most every sport, is not something I am terribly good at. Each week I set a goal of at least getting over 100. Well, yesterday was the day! I bowled a 119! No bumpers either. What makes me even prouder of this high score is that I bowled such a great score after such a long day of shopping at an outlet mall in Massachusetts.

I have a lot of fun bowling and I really am trying to improve. I am right-handed and I always curve my hand so the ball ends up going in the left gutter some of the time. I have tried moving my feet over to the right a little bit, thinking this would force the ball to hit the pins just right. Nah, I usually end up throwing the ball into the right gutter. Hmm, I will get it someday. I do occasionally bowl a strike but usually follow that up with a gutter ball.

Thankfully this bowling league is recreational instead of professional. I am glad Chris, who joined this league with me doesn't mind my terrible bowling too much, or at least he doesn't make it noticeable to me that I need some work. He does coach me and cheer me on when I do something well.

The awesome thing about this is league is no matter what your score, no matter how well you do, you get a summer pass to Six Flags New England. It's like every time I release that ball I can see myself being strapped in a roller coaster and spinning round-and-round. For some reason Six Flags always makes me think of DippinDots too! And I am always in the mood for ice cream.

So now as I make my way to class that is from 6:00 to 8:30 tonight, I know I will be thinking about ice cream at least for the next two and a half hours until I go home and can have some.

Katie's getting old(er)!

2011-03-31T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today is Kate's Day. So I dedicate this blog to my sissy. Although, it has been a while since I have seen my sister, I am fortunate to talk to her almost everyday. Now I know when Kate reads this, I will get an immediate phone call saying I never answer my phone when she is calling. But I think she should be careful with the word never. But since it is Kate's day I will be extra nice!

As I was looking through different photo albums to find just the right picture I wanted to share with everyone(and not embarrass Katie too much) I found this picture of Kate. I believe this picture was taking in the field behind our house.

I also found this next picture which inspires me to share with you all a story about the trip her and I took to the Grand Canyon a few years ago. It was to be a warm and sunny day in the canyon so before Kate and I left the house that morning we packed a cooler full of water bottles. We left early morning and arrived just before the heat really set in. Kate and I walked around the different trails and lookout areas taking many pictures. I noticed a group of people crossing over this fence and hiking down into the canyon a little ways. I immediately wanted the full experience and begged Katie to hike down with me. It really didn't take a lot of persuasion and it was an easy path that we went down. I guess it didn't hit either of us that when you slide down four foot rock walls that we would need to go back up these same walls in a few minutes. Kate and I enjoyed the scenery for a while and decided to hike back up. We followed the same path but literally got stuck. We could not get up this one rock wall. I found this amusing, but Kate wasn't too happy. Kate tried pushing me up so I could get up but because I was laughing so hard I had no muscle control to help her. Kate was not happy. We eventually made it up the wall, and neither of us were scarred too much by the situation. Katie didn't find this circumstance too funny. Although, maybe she found a little more humor in the hotel parking lot when she tipped over the cooler and the water bottles started rolling all over the place. Or when the hotel key card wouldn't work and Kate thought kicking the door would make it open.

Katie hiking down the canyon

I loved my trip with Katie and I am so glad it wasn't the last one. Katie and I also drove up from Arizona to Wisconsin, without hating each other by the end. (Sorry, for being crabby on the last day, Katie)

Kate and I leaving Arizona: Wisconsin bound!

Happy Birthday Katie. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. I am sure everyone at work now has confirmed that their is something seriously wrong with me, because of all the laughing I did well reminiscing and writing. I wish you the best day ever. :)

Inspired

2011-03-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

I have once again been inspired by my beautiful cousin Kalli, also known as Kalifornia. She used to inspire me to go to Walmart after work and buy mini-corndogs and eat just them for supper. I always took her advice. This time I am following in her footsteps and stepping into the world of blogging. Now I have had this blog for over a year, but have only used it as a place to publish and share some poetry I have written. If you have not had a chance to read these please feel free to. My purpose of this blog is to share with you my writing, and let you know what I am up to over here in Little Rhodey.

Well, now I can say I am officially settled in here and busier than ever before. My classes are going well and I am working on campus in one of the offices. I am proud to say I just got hired as a Home-Based Therapist through a center here in Rhode Island whose mission is to make life more enjoyable for anyone with a disability. I will be working with children, mainly who are autistic, on social, hygiene, educational and other skills. I sign the employment papers tomorrow and should begin within the next week or two with my first client. I will be sure to let everyone know how my first day goes.

Well, I don't want to bore anyone in the first blog so I will leave you with a Rhode Island trademark to summarize how life is treating me.

What do you choose?

2010-06-21T21:05:00.000-07:00

I open my eyes each morning
to see the glistening of the sun,
as it hits the dew on the grass
spreading images of glitter across
the ground.

I close my eyes to the harsh words
headlined across my morning paper.
I don't dare reach out on my porch step
in efforts to grab that folded piece of garbage
screaming words of death, poverty and war.

Instead I open my ears to wind,
the warm breeze that brings to my ears
the sweet music and rejoice sent to me
from the heavens above.

I close my ears to the voice on the t.v.
the cold, cruel voices,
only there to reinforce the
bitterness I find in my coffee.

Instead, I lean over the rose bush
smelling the sweet fragrance that
seeps into veins,
generously filling me with
happiness and life.

You see –we all have a choice.
See, we can all chose to live a life
of joy or a life of pain.
You see, many of us chose to share the sad things in life,
and while there are times when sadness is only right
we cannot allow it to take us over,
like a flood after a long storm.
And even when the biggest flood of them all,
is over and sun has dried up all the rain,
the roses will bloom again-- a little brighter than before,
the birds will sing a little again—a little louder than before
So choose life.
Choose love.

Stupid Girl

2010-06-20T16:11:00.001-07:00

Stupid girl they all mutter
Under their poisonous breaths,
I smile and pretend not to hear
their words -- they are like ice to me.
But the warmth you provide me
Melts away the harm
they bring to the table.
I believe not what they say
But instead in what you have
Chosen to show me.
I chose you.
Things changed too sudden though,
Like a banana that ripens over night.
Your words, once sweet
Become sour like a lime
brought to my lips.
I can’t explain what happened
As I watched it unfold
before my dark brown eyes
God, I begin to wonder
If what their saying was the truth.
Stupid girl I wonder
Stupid girl I mutter
under my own poisonous breath

born again

2010-06-04T10:01:00.000-07:00

I was born to believe
my wings were already clipped.
Stuck, like feet in the mud.

I was born to believe
there is no life outside
of what we have here.

I was born to believe
that there is no grass
on the other side at all.

I was born to believe
in one too many fallacies.
Ha, I'll show you!

spring

2010-03-08T20:18:00.000-08:00

The long and cold
winter that has suppressed us
into dark thoughts and beings
is about to be lifted.
I can feel it in the sun,
the warmth of it
against my pale cheeks,
whispering to me that
spring is almost here.

With spring we can begin again,
we see new beginnings and fresh starts
every where we look,
in the grass that slowly turns green,
and the tulips that kiss the air as the open.

So begin again,
start from scratch,
take a look at what today
has in store for you.
Let the warmth of the sun
take you, guide you
to where you dream to go.
Winter has said its goodbye,
you are free now.

Deadline

2010-03-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

Closer and closer you came,
but you still felt so far away,
I didn't think I needed to worry.
I dread you,
you only want to bring me pain.
You try to mask it for me
with a facade of happiness,
but I can see through it.

Every step you take that brings you closer,
only pushes me farther and farther away.
I am running,
but getting no where.
I turn around and you are still there,
haunting me, screaming my name.
What is it that you want from me?
It doesn't matter anyway,
I am not willing to give this up for you.
Can't you just go?
Find someone else to play your silly mind games with?

For a moment I thought you were gone,
my worries were cast away,
but as I look into the passenger side mirror,
I get the biggest reminder of them all,
I see you coming up from behind
there to haunt me once again
I guess the mirror doesn't lie,
objects in the mirror are closer then they appear.

Hope for the hopeless

2010-03-06T22:09:00.000-08:00

Holding onto something,

for far, far too long

can bring forth

the extreme of human emotions.

You tell yourself you can do it,

you can make it,

you can prove them all wrong.

But their attacks are stronger
stronger than you could have ever
imagined or prepared you self for.

Your ready to let go,
maybe that is the best.

But even though,

you make the choice

to defy gravity

just a little bit longer

because you know

there is always,

a little hope for the hopeless.

Maybe I'm just over-thinking...

2010-03-06T21:36:00.000-08:00

Lights off,
laying in my bed.
Can't fall asleep or
am I choosing not to?
Change, maybe that is
what I am looking for.
Perhaps a different avenue.
Go away for a while,
or go away forever.
Move on or work
with what I have.
Try harder, or maybe
just give up.
Dance the night away,
or stay sitting all night.
Push myself to the limit,
or hold myself back.
Dream those endless dreams,
or stay wide-awake.
Ahh, who knows,
where either will take me
but maybe,
maybe you just got me
over-thinking....

Forbidden Memories

2010-02-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

Looking through photographs,
of who we used to be,
Holding on tightly,
to the sweet memories,
But just like the images,
spread across my bedroom floor,
they must be carefully put away.
It's time to let go of all the yesterdays.

But it's you-the one who changed everything,
who wants to bring back this past.
You must know what has been done can't be undone.
Your scarring words and deceitful lies,
are only what I know now.

I want you to stop bringing out,
the once so beautiful pictures,
that now just show sin .
It's time to bid farewell my friend
and burn those photos.
Goodbye, my friend.
Goodbye

2010-01-19T20:16:00.000-08:00

Jealousy flows through me,

like a constant throb of pain,

yet I lay here almost completely numb.

Remind myself that jealousy,

is the very thing I hate,

but yet I hold it within me.
Wish. It. Would. Stop.
Wish. It. Would. Just. Go. Away.
Much unlike the first snowfall,

that hits the ground and quickly fades away,

You can't cease this emotion,
can't make it just go away.

Misunderstood

2009-12-19T17:12:00.000-08:00

Quick with your judgments,
and harmful blame
you let no time pass by.
Rather than dig for understanding
you point out the flaws in me.
Well, I'm not flawless,
but this time it isn't me.
You could have seen this,
if you had given me the slightest chance.

Bittersweet

2009-12-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

Awake but tired
anxious but nervous
happy but sad
eager but hesitant

Home but away
Bitter but sweet